Processing the summer…

I was asked how do I process the summer after camp. It is really quite simple, I don’t process the summer after the summer but during the summer. I am thinking about next year while the summer is going on. There are some things that I try to deal with after the summer, coordinators’ and speakers’ evaluation, some staff issues that need to stop or begin differently, facility needs and repairs, and some basic “wouldn’t it be great if…” type of stuff. I try to eat different food that I didn’t get this summer, see movies that have good messages or make me laugh, read spy mysteries or books that have nothing to do whatsoever with theology, church, camps, etc., and some doctor appointments that I need to have.

In fact, I am sitting right now in the doctor’s office waiting for him to look at my heart. I have had some pains in my chest the past few days. I think it is more about the firmness of my mattress at home vs. the camp’s soft ones, but my wife, Christel thinks it would be a good idea to check it out to be safe. I am reluctant about spending my time in a doctor’s office when I could be out having fun but it is worth it to keep Christel from worrying. It turns out I have a bit of pneumonia in my lungs.

I have concerns why many staff did not complete the summer. Why they would disregard an agreement between them and me to leave and go home. It was easy for many to just not work. Some felt “the Lord” was saying it was time to go home, and others said this is hard and they wanted to leave. One dear one was having some personal issues at home and needed to be there, I understand. But there was a reluctance to finish that which they started. One said he didn’t believe in the program, not enough Jesus, so he refused to work in the program another day. So I had to find another to take his place. "Not enough Jesus…"

I don’t think it is a wrong work ethic but a bad “Jesus” ethic. I have been watching the news and reading about the Israeli withdrawal from The Gaza and I think that is a hard situation these people are going through. What is the Jesus ethic of that? For a Israeli soldier to forcibly remove one of his or her own people, could be family, from their homes must be a tough, tough thing to do. Makes working at Calvin Crest like working at summer camp or something.

It was difficult for many, some experienced some real pain but their “Jesus ethic” brought them to Him for some transformation. I was able to pray with some wonderful people and saw Jesus transform them, heal them, forgive them, redeemed them… right before my eyes. They were broken but renewed. Softened but strengthened. A word that was spoken that seemed to speak to us was the word “RESOLVE.” I think there was a resolve by some to be used by Christ inspite of the situation. I watch my friend, Cosby, resolved to do what the Master is calling him to do as he continually cleans up after people. He serves, he doesn’t quit. I know a time is coming when that calling will be over, but he is faithful. He lives this life of faith. Bill Dodge is another one. Deb Roope, Dave Davis, Lily Nichols, Geoff White, Rachel Graff, Shannon Roark, Claire Thames, Craig Shigyo, Ben Fife, and many others (problem with a list is when you leave people out they can be hurt, I apologize to anyone who thought they hung in there and I forgot to mention…).

I watched many people get deep when it gets hard. They don’t stay near the surface, they go to the deep place of the Spirit. No clichés just a deep sense of the Presence. Alone time in the light not the lime light. Let others minister to them, not much pity exchanged, just truth. Words spoken in silence to the Mediator Who Knows. Soulships between true friends. That was the reality that I saw that many did not. Something that took place because they stayed long enough to experience the truth. Like staying through a Pixar Movie and seeing the outtakes. You have to sit through to the end.

I am impressed with those who stayed. One young women wanted to leave throughout the summer. She talked to her teammates, her supervisor, then finally on the second to the last night she came to me and asked if she could leave. I told her no and laughed. She was not happy, but she stayed. The last day, she was there. The last goodbye, she was there. A small victory. She may not feel it, it would have been easier to leave, but better to stay.

Anyway just a little processing…

Angels unaware...

This was started last week but I never got to finish...

Monday was a very hard day. For the past week or so the septic system had been removed from my house. So each morning at about 5:30am I wake up and look for the place that is available for me to "use the facility" if you know what I mean. This is a great feat of timing and focus. A clear mind is essential. I have to walk about until I find the facility that is open to a 51 year old so I don't freak out the campers or the staff and some of the wild life in the area.

Monday before I had a chance to coordinate the exchange, I was approached by Shannon to be filled in on what I missed the previous night because I was trying to talk to another staff member into staying instead of giving up and leaving. A plague of despair on the house of Calvin this summer with 5 staff leaving. Anyway, Shannon told me of a major problem that had staff very upset, individuals wanting blood. A very intense time in a very delicate bodily state of urgency (I am 51). I told Shannon I would take care of it and proceeded to change clothes while still in a major holding pattern. I listened to others, got a proper perspective, then went off to talk to the person at the center of the controversy. He was open and gracious, wanting to meet with the team, they met, hard conversations, accusations, maturity and immaturity danced. Me, I am still in need. I made some unpopular decisions but felt like Solomon in all of his glory and my impending condition. I am tired, disappointed, excited about the possibilities, heartbroken, yet hopeful.

Two hours after waking, I am able to fulfill the original plan. I am then summoned to another who is thinking of leaving. I ask him to stay, call in all my cards and ask again. Stoically he agrees to stay but I am now broken. I leave and walk for a while and breakdown asking the Lover of my soul to bring healing and joy. I hear a shout of, "hello there!" I look up to see a little kid, in an Ariel bathingsuit running to me. We had met an hour earlier but she was too shy to say anything to me. Now she comes running over to talk. I was not sure if this would be a good thing but spending a moment with her felt like water to a very dry area.

She asked why I was sad. I said that a few people wanted to quit and leave. She looked very puzzled. She looked around, as if taking inventory, and said, "Why would anyone want to leave this place. It is the most beautiful place I have ever seen." She came from Pasadena with my friend Leisel, who brought her because her mother was working and leaving her home alone for many hours in the day and night. Survival. This little girl watched her father get carved up and left for dead because of gang involvement. She has been homeless and lived on the street throughout her life. Many stories were not said. She was happy to be here.

She asked why people don't want to work here anymore? I could not answer her. I really didn't know. I thought for a while, some never worked so hard. Some didn't like the people they were working for. Some emotionally could not hold it anymore. Some wanted to be home. They were through.

I asked the program assistant, Amy, if she would find a staff shirt, the smallest we had, and bring it for our new friend Desiray. She came back at lunch with the shirt. And at that point, I hired Desiray, for room and board, to work for the rest of the summer at Calvin Crest. She asked what her job was? I told her it was to make people happy. She couldn't believe that she got a shirt and a purpose. She gave me a sweet hug and kissed my cheek and headed off to do her job.

At dinner she told me she had been busy looking for people to make happy. Saw one boy who was sitting by himself and invited him to go on the boats with her and Leisel. The boy went. She was in many conversations through out the week.

Since she came not one person wanted to go home. On Saturday she was checking out and came up to me to say thanks and gave me a hug. She said she didn't want to leave. I told her she could always come back and work some more next year. She said she would try. I told her to make her mom happy and to keep Leisel, her neighbor happy. She said she would.

I am thankful that God brought me this young lady at just the right time and place. I think I would have gone home early as well if she wasn't here.

The end of a season...

Camp finished yesterday, we moved out of the Ranch House, and we will spend tonight at home. That was quick!

I am going to spend some time staring off in the distance and thinking about what happened this summer and try to listen to what He says rather than what my voices keep telling me...

These old guys rock on...

Clapton and The Stones... These guys are starting to look old. But they can still rock hard.

Finishing...

This is an interesting time. The last week. How does one finish strong. Tired. A bit burned out. Some of the magic gone. We have seen too much of the back rooms of Disneyland.

All that is left is faithfulness. The root is (wait for it...) faith. We must live a life of faith. Faith is living that which we believe to be true. I am amazed by the life of those who continue to see God at work in each life that comes up here. Each one brings the potential of a new word, a new direction, a new hope...

Yesterday we felt the pandemonium of the enemy. Today we heard the story of a night of faithfulness of a single woman who felt the presence of the enemy, the voice of the Spirit to gather and pray, and within hours felt the power and the presence of the enemy defeated.

Faithfulness...

Still some work to do, places to turn on lights, clean up the debris left, and establish the presence of the Kingdom.

A worship by remembering...

Yesterday's service was very sweet. Many of us forgot the stories that took place because last few weeks have been difficult. A theme of brokeness threaded itself through the songs and stories. But the greater theme, Christ was there, who never leaves us nor forsakes us. His love and power in terrible times seemed to be the truth that sustains us in these hard places. Hard times come, He is there.

I loved hearing the singing, the stories, and a medley of hymns played on flute and viola. The dance was simple and full of joy. Hearing Christina's testimony of being a recipient of a campership put into perspective why we would give. Very moving and hopeful, and to think that the potential of a camper who come today, broken and acting out, can be transformed, as hers was, to be powerfully used in the Kingdom tomorrow.

I am honored to be a part of this staff...

A great watercolor...

This is a watercolor of the place where I am living this summer, by my friend Deb Roope. I live in the house on the right.
Great painting, great place to live. It is one of my favorites.

(And to those who don't like my art critic corner... you will only provoke me to display some Thomas Kinkade!)

The concert vs. the remembering...

Tomorrow the staff has a worship service that we invite our friends and families to hear the stories of the summer. Tonight we walk through it. It is different than the concerts we use to do. No show, just remembering stories.

Prayer needed...

I am speaking tonight to the staff about the place we hold others in our community. I think it is also time to speak about where we hold ourselves as well. My head is spinning. My heart is broken, My soul is tired. But I can sense the Spirit at work. It is interesting

Plus we have been watching the meteor showers beginning for their annual event. We have another fire close by. A week ago or so we had one about a mile from my home.

Who needs television...

The back row...

It is easy to sit in the back row. No one expects anything from you back there. No one sees you. All eyes are forward. You think it is safe. It is not.
There are a lot of distractions in the back row. People can get attracted to every thing but the intent of the time. We come with our own agendas.
The back row demands nothing of people. Only to show up and sit through the show.
You can put in your time in the back row. Safe. Unchanged. Not responsible. Lots of opinions, no action. Last ones to come, first to leave.
The plate is already full by the time it gets to the back row. No one knows what's given.
The message is stale by the time it reaches the back row. Too many ears steal the words. Little left to consider.
Pictures drawn, lists made. Heads counted. Hangman. Tic-tac-toe.
The back row has a life of its own.
No one knows...