A time away...

I went away for a few days to listen and talk to the Quiet Voice, to see who I have become, and to have some seafood bisque.

I read some Nouwen, Reaching Out, which provoke some major conversation with God. I found myself alone with Him in which I found myself alone with my self. I re-met myself for the first time and I don't think I made a good first impression.

A long time ago, I spent a half a year in Monterey, I went to Monterey Peninsula College or MPC as the locals call it, where I took some art and political science classes. I worked at a donut shop, Beardsley's, and spent a lot of time driving back and forth to Calvin Crest and Fresno. I had a girlfriend with a nose ring until I met my wife, Christel. I turned 21 and went to my first pub and ordered an imported beer with some new friends in Pacific Grove.

I was baptised in the Holy Spirit on Del Monte Beach, where I also saw the red tide for the first time. I remembered praying all the time when I was there. I had only been a believer for five months, so everything was fresh. Moving to Monterey syncopated with moving into the Kingdom. I didn't know my directions. When you are on a peninsula you are surrounded by water so it is hard to tell which way is north. The water cannot be the landmark used to find north. You have to understand where you are in order to know directions. Hard to explain - you have to have been there. I grew a lot, spent a lot of time learning what it was to be a believer. I had to know new things to believed. I read Acts. I loved what I read of the power of the believer.

I was in a covenant group with some Calvin Crest staff people who I had met the summer before. Because of this group, I read my first book, Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This was an amazing feat because I didn't read. I had a reading disorder that was diagnoised as "being stupid." I taught myself to read. Slow but steady. I learned about the Holy Spirit and about myself.

Once I adventured into an abandoned cannery, which is where the Monterey Aquarium sits today, and for a week I read John Steinbeck's Cannery Row inside the old cannery. I was sitting in the place Steinbeck was writing about. I took risks, I met new people, went new places, tried new things.

I made some decision about the person I wanted to be. I remembered watching Richard Nazarian, a friend's father, one weekend. Everywhere we went this man would talk to everyone as if they were his friend. No one was off limits. Conversations struck up at any time and place. When people walked off from meeting him they were in a better mood. I decided I wanted to be that. I wanted to make people feel better when we met. I started talking to waitresses, store clerks, movie ushers and ticket agents. I found it wasn't just about talking to them but it was respecting them as souls who had something to offer and each one had value.

Amazing times...

This past week, I drove around, remembering what happened to me there. I saw places I walked and discovered and I realized I don't spend as much time discovering because I don't take the time to walk. My prayers are more to Him instead of letting it come from Him. I drive more than walk. My rhythmn is too fast. I need to deal with my ADD, my eating, my fear and what I do to resolve my fear. Time to take risks again.

I enjoyed my time even though it brought up some realities to which I need to change. I am appreciative to Dianne for her "questions" and her hospitality. I found The Old St. Angela Inn to be a place of sanctuary.

I am going to do it...

When I want to listen I like to drive. I turn off the iPod, roll down the windows, listen, feel, and smell the wind.

There are friends with whom I like to pray with my eyes open. Scott, Dianne, Rudy, some Calvin Crest folks, my mom, Randy, Ben, Keith...

I like to walk, quietly and leisurely. Not for exercise but for the movement. Walking makes for a 360 degree experience. Sometimes when I walk, the Lord will tell me to turn around and look at something. Stop and consider.

Butcher paper is an important part of listening for me. I like to get a sharp pencil and draw what I hear. Considering, with a visual aid, brings dimension to the listening.

Sometimes fasting helps, sometimes food... good food opens my heart and mind. Tasting is an important part of listening. It takes time to taste as it does to listen. Ruminating food or an idea takes time.

Well, I am going to do that. I am taking off for a few days this week and go to one of my favorite places, Pacific Grove. Spend some time with my friend, Dianne. Walk on the beach, downtown, the wharf, and the butterfly sanctuary. Go to mass, eat seafood bisque and good bread, hike the Pinnacles, drive Hwy 152, eat a few tacos aPastor in Los Baños, and spend time reading Matthew, Songs of Solomon, a few psalms, a little Nouwen and Chesterton.

I need some time of listening...

Where do you go when you need to pray, listen, wait?

The place we find ourselves...

I have been doing some thinking about blogs, friends who are having ministry and life decisions, people who I know who comment angrily and anonymously, people who know how to get around the system, hurricanes that know how to get around and destroy levies and seawalls, people who don't add to the quality of life but take, mock, grind away at others who are trying to do something, people who made a difference in music in the sixties who just put out new CDs like The Stones, McCartney, Martin Scorsese's DVD on Dylan, the life and passing of Simon Wiesenthal, not caring about football, making my Christmas cordial, why we worship for an hour, Autumn, baseball, life work, life goals, my wife, weddings, ...

Hmmm...

When will people do the right thing because it is the right thing to do instead of doing the wrong thing because they simply... can?

Hey, what happened to the comments...

I met with Cory Piña this morning for coffee and asked him about comments and nameless comments and the despair they can cause. Comments can be made in the passion of the moment and a lot of pain can be thoughtlessly executed by a quick reaction. I was going to go for a 5 day waiting period but I don't believe that comments kill people, people kill people...

So therefore, I changed to a commenting system where people have to sign into blogger and are there for the conversation around the dinner table rather than in the closet.

When you speak without a name you have no voice and no place at the grown-up's table.

A friend who was my boss...

I would like to say something about Rick Harrison, the Executive Director of Calvin Crest, who is leaving to kick start some camps in Southern California, somthing he is very good at.

Rick and I first served together back in 1975 & 76, when we were in college and on staff as lead counselors. Rick then ran a new program called Out Post, which was for JrHighers because of full enrollment in the junior high program at the main camp, held in a public camp ground. I had much respect for Rick's laid back style of leadership and his high relational values of HOW we did program.

Our office at the new camp, was his van, our kitchen was a make shift refrigerator and campfire, our beds were the ground, and our community was forged by putting on this program for the first time. He let us have input because we all were doing this for the first time. It was great, we were very creative.

He became the program director a few years later with our dear, departed, friend Brad Durley. He served for a few more years in that position until he left to pastor a church in Northern California. In the early 1990's Rick was asked to come back as the Executive Director. The camp was in huge turmoil. It was in the midst of a drought and wells needed to be dug. The camp had lost its identity and the finances were dragging. People needed to be reminded of who Calvin Crest was, more than just what it was. Rick brought back a spirit of excitement again for the ministry. He discovered the camp was in debt, because of the drought and an embezzlement of a staff member. By faith, he followed that which needed to be done. And through some very incredible things that God did (some day I will tell you the story), Calvin Crest got out of a huge debt.

Rick, by faith, hired me. I had no camp leadership experience. Rick hired me. He heard God and was faithful and hired me. I had never programmed a camp but Rick saw the potential in me and gave me a shot. He kept me close and gave me encouragement as he corrected my decisions. Over the years Rick trusted what I felt God was saying to me about the program and it proved successful. Even when there were people giving him complaints, Rick was supportive and stuck with me. There were times we would disagree but I never felt I didn't have his support and friendship. Rick wanted to be a partner with me in ministry, not just my boss. He included me in decisions and listened to my opinion. His humor always took the weight off of the tough loads we carried through out our time together. I enjoyed the laughter that was found in his office during hard discussions.

And Ginny is an incredible woman of God with a financial understanding par excellant! When she came she was able to untangle the non-system to create one of order. Her insight into "what goes on here" will be extremely missed. Her love for Calvin Crest was evident as she worked long hours to make it all run smoothly. Ginny continually demostratated her quiet wisdom in meetings by giving her opinion that complimented ours and didn't compete with ours. Rick and I are very right brained and Ginny is a CPA. I tried to see the ministry through her eyes as often as possible. Ginny is an asset to any place she brings her mechanical pencil and her heart. That girl is smart!

I am confident of the job Rick is going to do in SoCal. He has an incredible ability to get things going. I will miss him and his wife Ginny but am extremely thankful for the time he entrusted me with his ministry at Calvin Crest.

God's speed, Rick...

Something big...

There is a very important announcement at Calvin Crest. If you have worked there or been involved with us you will want to click here.

I will blog later...

On the road...

I am traveling today to restore some relationships - post summer. I tend to lose a lot of visual contact with people during the summer and find the Fall a good time to listen to youth pastors and others who are involved with Calvin Crest in ministry. I am in Mariposa and Merced today meeting with Scott Vance and then Dave McGurk. I always leave a little sharper after these times together.

Unto restoration...

On Saturday, Christel, Hillary, and I went to the car show at the park in Oakhurst. Small town, locals who work on vintage cars, showing them off to each other and to us appreciateers. There was some amazing cars, old one that people took great pride in restoring to the original specs and colors. Beautiful work, incredible craftmanship, detailing, nothing overlooked, even the glovebox had gloves in it from the era.

Hillary and I both loved an 1955 Austin-Healy 100. Fully restored. An older gentleman in his 70s was the owner and restorer. We made a fuss over it and he came up to take responsibility. Pride and confidence was on his face. We walked on and Hillary couldn't stop talking about it. We went back to get a picture of her with the car but the owner was driving off in it as we approached the spot where it was on display. He drove off in it. It wasn't on a trailer, he drove it. Wind whipping over his English cap and his smile as he shifted out of first gear. The engine sounded just like I remembered it when I was younger.

Sunday night, I preached from Matthew 8, where Jesus finishes the Sermon dela Montana and a leper comes up, bows before him and asks if He is willing to cleanse him. Jesus speaks healing words and the man is cleansed, tells him not to tell anyone, but to present himself to the priest as a testamony.

I thought a lot about Jesus words. The words of cleansing as well as the words of restoration. I think I only listen to the words of cleansing but ignor the instructions to health. I want to be driven by the master in a full state of restoration not on a trailer pulled. Testamony is dynamic, not underglass in a display case.

I need to spend more time with the priest, so that the words of restoration from Jesus would have as much an effect as did the words of salvation. I know I am saved, but I need to be restored... And then driven.