Faith is messy...

I know many do not like Annie Lamont because of her messy theology. She is out there. I agree with some of her thoughts and disagree with others, but I also do that with many others. I am thankful I can do that and not be fried a heretic, though I fear I am becoming one.

The Annie Lamont’s quote about faith in uncertainty reminds me that I use to think I had the answers and with pride could take people on in debates and conversations. I loved the debate. I studied the answers. I got into arguments in coffee shops and blogs, to get people to know Jesus. It was mostly so that they would know that I knew my stuff. Not Jesus. It seemed love lost to being right.

It is nice when all the answers fit neatly in the little box, it doesn’t take any faith to do that. The problem lies when we start having questions that don’t fit quietly into our box. I realize I didn’t have enough questions. That is when faith comes in. I have gotten pretty comfortable in my life until new things started to come into it and I didn’t have the answers to the new questions starting to arise. I didn’t start questioning the Bible I started questioning the teachers. I heard small minds with large vocabularies speak of the things that began to exclude people. People that because of circumstances and spiritual issues were deemed outside of the Kingdom. Easy answers such as, “if they are going through that they cannot be Christians.”

Being right isn’t necessarily being righteous. I remember once sitting in a coffeeshop having a “Bible study” with a group of men, talking about faith and works. One guy was saying that we are only saved by faith and another guy who was Catholic was talking about faith without works is dead, therefore it is works that brings faith to life. Scripture being thrown about like it was undercooked pasta. Emotions heated, voices raised, coffee cooled – a great evangelistic experience. At the end of it nothing was accomplished except we spent all the answers we had and no glory was manifested. We just argued. Lives were not changed, no one was edified, I don’t think love was ever given, just answers. Knowledge exchange. I thought we were doing something mighty until I talked to the waitress later who said she hates waiting on men having Bible studies because they demand more and leave less tips. She wasn’t impressed with the knowledge sitting at the table. That conversation did nothing to the waitress except tie up a table for an hour and a half. I know many of my friends love to “get into it” but I cannot do it anymore. When the conversation becomes about the conversation I don’t want to be a part of it.

Faith is messy. Its when we know with certainty it gets tidy. But trust, when it has been violated, leaves tattered edges. When bad things happen to good people, we have to walk in faith. Faith is walking with poop on the souls of your shoes and continuing to step boldly with Jesus. Faith is an old slave spiritual sung without any evidence of change in the landowner’s heart. We walk in faith that God so loved the world… even after we get ripped off from Christians again.

Faith, hope, and love have very little to do with knowledge, they requires commitment. Sticking it through to the end even when it is tough and you don’t like your boss.