Masturbation.
I was raised hearing that if I did that I would: 1. become blind; 2. grow hair on my palms; 3. go insane. No one ever talked about the truth.
It separates and isolate. It causes the focus to be drawn on to an image instead of to another. It reduces people to things that are there to satisfy the flesh and cause momentary pleasure instead of relationship that can create a lifetime of love, caring, sacrifice, intimacy, encouragement, value, hope, wisdom, understanding, risk, pain, peace, character, etc.
It is more than just rubbing of genitalia but of turning to yourself to find something that should involve someone else and pleases someone else. The idea of mutual pleasure versus self pleasure is huge. Mutual pleasure does not rob or reduce the identity of another to a single act or role. It is not self focused for results but it finds that result while provide results for others. The most important thing in mutual pleasure is not on the measuring of results but on the time and relationships involved in the process of getting to results. The result is not a finality but a celebration of intimacy. There are no celebrations in self gratification and it never is satisfactory.
When we are focused on self to bring pleasure or gratification, we lose our focus on what is possible and settle for that which is only attainable. It is very short sighted. What is possible is a journey into uncharted territory. Failure is possible. It raises heartbeats and deepens breath. It brings life to the surface instead of being locked in a room with a single light on. It opens the eyes and there is no looking away in shame.
Intimacy is a gift to others that grows the soul. Why settle on only momentary biological pleasure when you can change the world? It adds value to others to see their worth and part in the ballet of community.
This is a gift from God that can be consumed by the self or invested in another.
4 comments:
Well put, brother. I think you're on to something very valuable for the healing of many souls... although there will also be many who cannot get past the first word. Many in our society, in and outside of the Church (myself included) are living with a damaged sexuality. But what we don't often recognize is the brokenness it causes to our spirituality as well. Intimacy is better than gratification. Intimacy, with God or spouse, is always more fulfilling and life-giving than when we impatiently go it alone... so to speak.
Tony,
I completely agree with you about sexual intimacy between two people and not doing things just for your own selfish satisfaction. Sexuality is part of who we are as God's creation. I know you are not saying masturbation is wrong, per say, but you are saying it is a selfish act. It is, but it is a lot more complicated than the act. Part of what makes it more complicated is that we as Christians are called to share the act of sex within marriage and only the act of marriage. But people are getting married later and later. Even Christians, who have historically gotten married earlier, are getting married later in life. And so, there is this whole aspect of who we are as God's creation, which includes sexuality, which makes one feel guilty about expressing in a singular way because they are unmarried. Masturbation is complicated because there can be a lot of things that are sinful about it, but sex within the right context can be sinful if one or both of the people within that relationship are using sex for selfish reasons of gratification. I think there can be a place in our Christian single sexuality for masturbation. It can be a beautiful celebration and an act of thankfulness of who we are as God's creation, which includes our sexuality.
Just a quick word. I really was talking about whether it is right or wrong, good or bad. But there are things that we don't talk about fully and there are inherent problems when we do that.
Liz, I would probably say much of our Christian whatever is spent in masturbation...
Let me just say ... "amen."
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