Your last letter poised a great question and one that held me accountable for my critical nature. I do not try to be critical, I didn't have a critical nature when I was in college, in fact, I was quite the optimist. I enjoyed the diversity and insight of many, even the ones that I didn't agree with. I felt they had something to teach me and give another facet to this stoney heart of mine. I think I became critical when I became a part of the problem and not the solution. I got my card to the club and somehow that made me need to fit into the image of the club instead of the image of the One. Let me explain...
The revelation first came while I was pursuing the love and attention of a woman who was moving away from me and on to more mature pastures. I don't blame her now, but my heart was deeply broken. It wasn't that Jesus rescued me from that heartache but gave me a true heartache, I began to see the ache from the perspective of the Sacred Heart instead of the polluted one. There was a cosmic ache for me everyone to know The Creator, The Savior, The One.
I didn't intend to become a christian, I really wanted to pursue the Relationship and allow it to create in me a mirror image of the Love. I was deeply and redemptively struck by the One who said that the Cosmos had a love for me and that I needed to realize the reality of that Love. It was fruitless to pursue the love of a woman who was pursuing the love of a man who was pursuing the love of a... It would never match the Cosmic love that pursued me and gave itself up for me. I had not known love like that before.
I tasted the difference between the imitation, generic brand immediately by being consumed by the reality of the Truth. The difference was not in a better or more than experience but in a trueness that was confirmed by my DNA and my eyes. I began to see the love coming from more than just one being. I saw it in the entirety of creation. It began to make sense. The landscape was not made up of individual parts but of one part of a whole. I saw the Creator and the Love.
When I met Christel I knew she was part of that love, she was part of the creation, instead of
just looking great in a bikini, she was looking great in the Love. There was something, not different, but relevant about her. Yes, she was stunning, but she became a part of that which was stunning about the new growth in the vineyards in Spring. She was connected and she gave me a deeper perspective as to how I was connected to the Love.
I know I haven't answered your question but I really need to give you the understanding before I give you the ingredients.
I started hearing the Story from the very beginning. I had heard some of the stories in Sunday School but it was not necessarily The Story. I heard about different people but I didn't hear about The Love. That Story was in them but it wasn't given the light that I needed to see it. Maybe the Light comes from the Creator and not from storyteller, but when one who has seen and knows the Light tells the Story, they become a part of the Story instead of just the teller of the story. They become a part of the Flannel.
Well, my friend, I seem to have run out of time but I wanted to get this part off to you before I forget, I will write some more very soon. Thank you for the question, I hope you will trust me that you will get the Answer, I just hope that I am in the proximity when you hear it...
