Alright I know that I haven't written much lately but I gotta say that I am very concerned about the state of youth today. Drugs, promiscuity, AIDs, low educational test scores, economic impact, demonic possession, alcoholism, sagging trousers, texting while driving, or even adolescent obesity... are all things I could write about but I don't think matter as much as what happened to me yesterday.
I was getting coffee at the local espressarero and paid for my doppio con panna. "Thank you." I said to the nose ring'd, eyebrow ring'd, lip ring'd, eyelid ring'd young woman. Without looking up, she said, "No problem."
No problem? Really, that is the only reply you can come up with for someone who is keeping you employed by stopping, getting out of my car, walking up, ordering, waiting 5 minutes and said, "Thank you" to you?
Aren't you really saying "If it was a problem I wouldn't have helped you."
I am not asking you to say "It was my pleasure." or "Gee, I was honored to serve someone as incredible looking as you."
No problem. No connection, lack luster, ho hummed, lack of expression, the warmth of a cadaver. Nothing.
There is something about problem. It is alright to go out of your way for someone. It creates a bit of sweat, which evaporates, and becomes part of the environment, which we breathe in and out and contribute with the moisture of our breathe which adds to the water content in the atmosphere, creating clouds, developing rain, saturating the ground, causing plants to grow, flowers to bloom, coffee beans to ripen, people to harvest them, bringing economic stability to third-world countries, eliminating dictators who oppress the poor and develop nuclear weapons, reducing fear and ultimately bringing peace to all.
And she didn't count out my change either...
4 comments:
Your last paragraph is well-written; a poetic expression of the beauty of taking the trouble to be human to one another; brothers and sisters.
The introduction, however--and I hope you're open to critique--sounds angry and out-of-touch. Leaving aside the suggestion that a little cheerfulness on your server's part could have an effect on "bringing economic stability to third-world countries" (which, even assuming that you're drinking fair-trade coffee and the farmers are earning a living wage, is a bit far-fetched), your server's "no problem" is maybe a better reflection of the effort society has made for the provision of a bright future for her generation than her manners. Oh sure, she could just be a sour apple, but if we're extrapolating broader societal issues from a "no problem," let's assume for a moment that she's a mouthpiece for her peers. She's likely working a job that pays minimum wage or near to it, almost certainly doesn't provide health care, and employs her for as few hours as possible so that the business can turn a profit. Maybe she's chosen not to go to college and pursue another career, but can you blame her? If she did, she'd likely be mortgaging her next 10-20 years to the banks holding her student loans, all the while making too little to build a future for her and her family while increasing shareholder value in her employer. Our country hasn't been willing to back her up either, and if she gets sick or loses her job, she will be left to fend for herself (the so-called "American way!"). How about retirement: well, if she's lucky enough to live that long (remember that the average lifespan for an American has actually decreased in recent years), she'll collect a social security payment that will enable her to live just below the poverty line. Outside of economics, she's lived nearly her whole life with her country at war, which is enough to make anyone a little cranky at work.
While I think I get your point, your complaint about the server sounds a bit like an old grump who remembers the way it was when he was a kid. I have no doubt that baristas or soda jerks or DMV employees or whomever used to be a bit more polite or friendly (in fact, I may have just enough years behind me now to remember when they did!), but working a job like that used to have more of an upside.
We should also keep in mind that her physical appearance is mostly irrelevant. She's not going to be eligible for most jobs with those piercings, and that's her fault. But, making the connection between piercings and a lack of care for or interest in her fellow human being is patently unfair, and it sounds like "those kids these days" more than a honest and intelligent critique. Let's not forget that you were ordering espresso, not asking for water in the dessert or a bandage for a wound. Oh, sure, the little things count too, but if you want her to remember that cheerfulness counts, it would be gracious of you to remember that your espresso is a little thing. You write that you're not asking her to say that it was her pleasure to serve you, that's exactly what it sounds like you want.
What do your kids say about this blog?
Anonymous, I am open. Get a SOH.
Catd, did ask them.
To all,
I love the young woman at the espressaria and she is a very dear friend of mine. She doesn't have an eyelid piercing, I alway embellish. In fact she wrote me to say that she is getting her watchband pierced next.
I have heard this expression from many people young and old, working at a minimum wage fastfood joint or at a very nice restaurant/hotel, etc. I am not wanting to demean anyone who works at any job (which is why I always thank them for serving me). But I do think that it is not a good response to a "Thank you."
Thank you for caring to read something I would write. I know... no problem.
I love coffee. And this is a problem.
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