Presbyterians do not know how to party. Oh, we can throw a mean harvest festival but we really don't know how to party down and get funky when it comes to ordaining people. Somberilitation is the theme. No one shows their excitement for the young man or woman who just completed 3 or 4 years of seminary after 4 or 5 years of undergrad work and will be working for 25 to 30 years paying off the financial loans that they borrowed to accomplish The Call. I have been to many of them and they all seem the same. We have cake, punch, mixed nuts (I take most of the cashews), and some vegetables (which is a clear indicator of somberility). We sit at round tables and catch up on our children and their education or lack of. Small talk about the church where the newly ordained will be serving and the weather over there. And some prognosticators give a prediction when the new pastor will be a senior pastor.
Ordinations should be fun. There could be a theme where we come dressed as our favorite period of Christiandom (The Crusades or as the door in Whittenburg with a bunch of post-it notes all over you, a Billy Graham rally, or remember the Emergent Era?). Debates should be held in the Northex room. Someone should start the new traditional ordination meal of Shrimp Quesadillas and Guinness. Or a good Fondue could be the thing. A Princetonian could bring their hooka. There should be dancing... ballroom or salsa, the kind that takes up the whole room, not just a 15' by 15' parquet floor that you rent from TruValue. People would want to get in on the list if there was a real party going on.
Or go for the major pomp and pageantry route. Everyone comes in their robes. Women in big hats, oh what the heck, men could wear big hats as well. Everything buttoned up, no cleavage showing (except from the mother-in-law and the custodian). Trumpets played to announce the arrival of the ordainee or a good mariachi band in full regalia. Scriptures read in Latin with subtitles on the PowerPoint. Red carpet is brought out. And everyone gets a gift when they leave, like cufflinks or wallets.
I know this sounds expensive and I have probably lost the true meaning of ordination. If we get too creative there could be a reality show called Platinum Ordinations.
Sorry, I was just thinking...
4 comments:
I agree. Ordinations should be a celebration. My ordination was a celebration. The service was amazing. The reception at the church afterwards was nice. Then we went over to a family friends house and had a smaller family and friends dinner. It was truly a celebration and a blessing of the time put in and listening to God's call in my life. It was what an ordination should be.
Punch, cake, veggies and mixed nuts? Sounds like some weddings I've been to!
Love your version of an ordination party though! Sounds like it would be thrown by someone who used to be a caterer! Ha, ha...
But I totally get what your saying. There needs to be more flavor and Oumph! in a celebration especially when God's call is involved! Celebrate with all the senses, not only the hearing but also the sight, the taste, the smell, the dancing (okay, well now it's sounds like a rave)...
Your description also reminds me of my wedding almost, except it wasn't party enough for the Armenians and it wasn't demure enough for the Presbyterians! And even-keal is not always that fun either. And I have even more stories to tell about religion vs culture...
Now if we can find a way to have your ordination celebration idea adopted into the Book of Order... hmmmm
if i start a mariach band, will you join it?
It has been a dream to play the guitarrón in a Mariachi.
Post a Comment