The way of the Kingdom is different. It is not what we think, it is what He thinks. Our minds need to be transformed, renewed, reprogrammed, new paradigms accepted, etc...
I have been reading about a young woman in the early 1800, Anne Catherine Emmerich, who was set apart for His hand to do His work. She was definitely holy. Jesus appeared to her throughout her life, manifested his marks and stripes, stigmas, on her body. Very interesting. I have been intrigued by her faith and understanding of His way.
Once the Savior appeared to her and in His left hand He held a crown of flowers and in His right a crown of thorns, He bid her to choose one. She chose the crown of thorns. She would meditate on the Passion of Christ and find herself caught up in His sufferings. Her love for Him grew the more she experienced His pain. I am deeply moved by this woman's life.
I am so not there. I would have chosen the flowers. I would have never chosen pain. My identity is in His resurrection not the crucifixion. I want the followers not the betrayers. Disciples not rejecters. Oil not spit. Shouts of "Hosanna," not jeers of "Crucify Him." Bowing down not beating down. Words of success, not of contrition. Positions of leadership not positions of submission. In the theme of the last Indiana Jones movie, I choose poorly.
I position myself in places of potential. Can I assume the position of humility? There is a new awareness that I must know differently that I do now. What are the conversations I should be in. Not one of authority but one of responsibility. I can only do that which He calls me to and to focus EVERYTHING on that area instead aspire to do something He has not given me. I have been given people for whom I am responsible. That is where I must be instead of someone else's position. Even when it hurts.
It cannot be about my kingdom, I must be totally surrendered to His.
